Hips - Before and After

When I look at my before and after surgery x-rays, it's no wonder my legs are such different lengths! On my right leg (on the left in the pictures) the top of my femur has dropped heaps. Using my left hip, which hasn't moved, as point of reference, you can see that the right hip was slightly higher than it, and is now quite a bit lower than it.

Before my operation (right hip sits higher than the left):

After the operation (right hip sits well below the left):

That point in the hip, where the line comes out from, has gone from sitting alongside my pelvis to being below it. It's actually quite a good visual representation of the change in placement that has occurred in my hip, to explain why my right leg is now 2.5cm longer than my left.

Crazy!

Physical Progress

Good news, friends! Progress is being made.

Last week I had my first appointment with the physio. Lasted about an hour and was mostly just assessment-y stuff – asking how my pain was, what made it worse, what exercises I’ve been doing etc... The best thing about it for me is that they’re really aware that my unoperated hip is giving me so much grief. So now I don’t have to do the standing exercises that hurt it so much! They’ve just given me a couple of extra exercises to do with my lying down ones instead.

But the best BEST thing about all this is that now I’m doing hydrotherapy twice a week, which means I’m back in the pool! I can’t swim yet, but I have a bunch of exercises to do in the water. It’s great because it’s low impact so it doesn’t hurt, but high resistance so it’s really good for building my muscle strength back up. It’s also pretty cool to move around without my crutches, even if it feels rather odd!  Also the others that go there are super lovely, so even though they’re all much older than me it’s a nice chance to kind of socialise.

The rather unfortunate thing about going to the physio is that they’ve actually measured my legs, and it turns out the discrepancy in leg lengths is a lot worse than I thought. They say the operated leg is now around 2.5-3cm longer than the other! Considering it was a bit shorter before the operation, that’s quite a difference. So now I have to get a lift put on my shoes. Which means wearing my shoe of choice (just a wee ballet flat) is now out of the question. Which means I have to wear ugly shoes that probably won’t go with my clothes, and I’ll look weird all the time. JOY.

The thing is, I know that my physical health is more important than my vain concerns about what I look like. But is it such a big ask to have legs that don’t hurt AND not look like a dick? Pretty sure most people get that all the time. What gets me though, is that I have to deal with this not because of some error of my own, or even because nature fucked me over and gave me this condition, but because somebody else made a mistake. That just seems really unfair. I thought they were going to fix me, but they’ve just given me something else to deal with. And yes, I’m vain because I care what I’ll look like, but I’m 22! Is that really so bad? The bone condition, the operation, the scar, the crutches... And now this. It’s just one blow to my self confidence after another.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful that I got my hip replacement. The difference in pain already is huge and that is awesome. I just didn’t know that it would come at a cost. Also I don’t know what happened or whose fault it is that my legs are now like this, so I’m not blaming anyone until I know what caused it. But somebody must have messed up or it wouldn’t have happened. They were aiming to make the legs the same lengths, and that’s obviously not what eventuated. And now I have to deal with the consequences.

Things that are good: Exercises increasing my range of movement, being in the pool, the movie ‘Win Win’, catching up with old friends you haven’t seen in yonks, going to see the sister and the brother-in-law and the new niece in Sydney at the start of December.

Things that are bad: Still not being able to drive, having to pick two pairs of shoes to get altered that will be all I can wear, my computer being a dick and not being able to figure out what’s wrong with it.

Things which are things and are thingsy

Truth be told, I was super gutted after the appointment on Monday. So gutted I forgot to mention lots of the good stuff!

I’ve started putting weight on my hip again, and it’s really not so bad. I can definitely feel it but it’s not super painful at all. Being able to spread the weight a bit means my other hip isn’t under so much pressure, either. And it meant I could manage to climb the stairs to the cinema yesterday - I didn’t feel steady enough with all the weight on one leg.

Also, I no longer have to sleep with a pillow between my legs, which is a bit great! I’m sleeping a lot better already. And the surgeon said I can fly at the three month mark (they don’t like you to fly after surgery because of the risk of blood clotting), which means I can go and visit the sister in Sydney in November and meet my niece.

AND the fact that the other hip hopefully won’t need replacing yet is awesome! If they can fix the cause of my pain with a less intrusive procedure, I can keep my real hip for as long as possible and not have to go through all of this again just yet. Fingers crossed they’ll get onto it quickly and I can be all fixed up and back up to Auckland in no time.

I’m not allowed to swim just yet, though. Not until I’m a bit stronger. And obviously, no driving or being able to walk far means minimal amounts of getting out and about. I hate to think how much weight I’m going to put on over the course of this recovery. Especially if people keep making me cake (Mum’s friend made us cake just cos I had surgery, how nice is that?!). That said, feel free to make cake :D

In other news, here are some things:

Australian band ‘Boy & Bear’ are rocking my slippers (cos I still can’t put my own socks on). Alt folk rock along the vein of ‘Mumford and Sons’ and ‘Fleet Foxes’. According to Wikipedia, they call themselves "a combination of drivey indie folk and indie harmonies". Listen to this and prepare to melt with joy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AeKD2oHrFg&ob=av2e.

I went to see The Help (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_help/) yesterday, and Crazy, Stupid, Love (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/crazy_stupid_love/) on Saturday - both of which were awesome. Super different but super super. Apparently Emma Stone’s in everything at the moment, huh. Both well worth it.

In my post-appointment grump, I stayed in bed until about 2.30 yesterday afternoon. Which means I finally finished reading A Game of Thrones. Really good book! Well worth it. Can’t wait to get onto the next one, and to watch the series. I also read Terry Pratchett’s The Fifth Elephant last week, which (like all Pratchett) was a bit great. I’ve just started a book called The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, set in Nazi Germany and written from the point of view of Death. So far, so good. I think I’m going to get pretty into it.

I think that’s about it, for now. Tune in next time for ‘Why it Kinda Seems Like My Surgeon Made a Wee

Mistake’, when for once I hope I’m wrong!

Six weeks on: Not what I was expecting

Well, today has been enlightening. But not in a good way - my optimism about the home stretch was really rather misplaced.

Turns out that when, at my pre-op assessment, they told me I couldn’t drive for six weeks... that just wasn’t true.

I was under the impression that from the six week mark I could start doing things again, but I’ve just got home from my six week assessment and I have to wait until my next appointment in another four weeks to get the all clear to do things like driving or getting back in the pool.

I feel reasonably certain that my sanity will fall victim to these circumstances; it’s already half gone from the last six weeks. This (practically) house arrest really doesn’t agree with me.

Given my still limited mobility, not being able to drive means not being able to go anywhere or do anything unless somebody can take me. Which in turn means I spend most of my time at home... by myself... slowly losing my mind. I’m really not good at extensive amounts of alone time.

I really miss my independence.

The surgeon was also not happy about my new leg length discrepancy. Prior to the surgery, I had a bit of a difference in the length of my legs; most likely from one hip being more severely affected by the Perthes than the other. Even though I never really noticed it (it never made me limp or anything) they tried to even this out in the operation, but now the operated leg is quite noticeably longer than the other - much worse than it was before.

I hadn’t been too worried about this, thinking it would be evened out when they replaced the other hip. However today the surgeon said he doesn’t want to replace the other hip because, although it causes me a lot of pain, it doesn’t look very arthritic at this stage. He said he’d rather try to treat the cause of my pain in that hip with telescopic surgery. Actually, if that works, that would be waaaaayy more awesome than having to get the second hip replaced now. So yay – positive thing! But it does mean they won’t get to fix the leg length difference, and I might need to get a lift thing on one shoe.

I know it’s stupid and vain but I’m 22, and I really don’t want to be that person. But I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So today I start putting some weight on the new hip and slowly wean myself off the crutches, slowly going down to one and then (hopefully, at some point) walking by myself.

I also start physio this week, with my first appointment on Thursday. Fingers crossed this will help me to get stronger faster, so I can recover my independence as soon as possible.

Not gonna lie, the appointment today was not was I was expecting or hoping for, and I’m really disappointed.

Bummer.

The Five Week Mark

This is it folks, the home stretch.

In one week, next Monday, I have my six week appointment with the surgeon. All going according to plan, I should be able to start putting weight on my hip then!

Um, excited much?!

I don’t know how it works from there; like if I still need two crutches for a while until I get stable on it, or if I get two throw one of them back at the (albeit lovely) physio staff. Either way it’s all up from there. Either way, I get to drive again!

I can smell freedom from here. It smells like mobility. It smells good.

I already have a list of questions. Top of the list: can I stop sleeping with a pillow between my legs yet? Cos that’s really not conducive to a good night’s sleep. Also up there: when can I get back in the pool and start swimming again? Taken any and all suggestions for things I should ask that I may not have thought of.

After that, from what I’ve heard, I should have another six to eight weeks or so until I’m recovered completely. So don’t expect me to be running past you on the street JUST yet. But it’s definite progress.

On a side note... the season finale of True Blood. Wow. That show is so bad but oh so good.

Things that are rad (just for you Ange): the home stretch, the amazing eggs-and-spinach-on-crumpet breakfast I managed to make myself this morning, my lovely Mama pushing me around the mall and museum in a wheelchair, delicious cheese from the cheesemongers, the Incas, Catherine Mansfield, the movie No Strings Attached, reading in the sun (seriously, is reading in the sun the best thing ever? I’d totally put a vote in for it).

Things that are sad: the fact that I’ve had five weeks of doing nothing and I still haven’t finished A Game of Thrones, spending four days doing little apart from watching the Royal Commission Inquiry into the Pike River Mine, the thinning out of visitors lately, having to admit that I think I'm getting into the Rugby World Cup.

The Positivity Project

For the last week I’ve been carrying out what I’m calling my Positivity Project: At the end of each day I write down the things I've done. When I look back on them, I've achieved a lot!

The idea is to keep positive about the position I’m in at the moment – to see it as a good thing rather than a bad thing. To see it as an opportunity, to be proud of myself for the little things I manage to do for myself, and to appreciate the good things.

It’s been a busy week anyway – my lady Te Huia was over from Australia so spent quite a bit of time hanging out with her. Then on Saturday two of my besties from Auckland, Ange and Freya, surprised me by turning up at my door quite unexpected! So I spent most of the weekend with them. I had visits from Dad, Scott, Jake, Nic and Janise, too. All in all it’s been a good week for having cool people to spend time with.

Things I’ve achieved this past week: Got my Death Cab For Cutie review published; remembered to do my physio exercises more regularly; went fruit and vege shopping, to the library (which was painful but awesome), to the supermarket, and out for dinner a couple of times; found a way to sit at the bench to do some dishes and tidy up a bit; downloaded some educational podcasts and got some NZ geographic magazines to look through; read a bit of the Catherine Manfield book I got from the library and made quite a bit of progress on my knitting; made pancakes with my friends; went to the pier and spent time by the sea.... and that’s just the best stuff!

The snag in my positivity came on Thursday night, when I fell over in the rain while trying to get out of the car. I didn’t fall directly onto my hip but in my attempt to steady myself I stumbled and took a couple of steps. It hurt really really bad. I was so angry with myself for being so careless; if I’d damaged it I would’ve had nobody to blame but myself. It seems to be alright, but I’ve definitely taken it as a warning that I need to make sure I don’t get so over-confident on my crutches and keep being careful!

I read a book called Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger (the woman who wrote The Time Travellers Wife - an all-time favourite of mine). It was good but, without giving anything away, I was most disappointed with its conclusion. Things were wrapped up, but they were most unsatisfactory. The pretense wasn't always as believable as it should have been, either. I think I expected more from the author because of previous stuff I'd read. To anyone considering it, I'd recommend giving it a go but don't get your hopes up.

Things that are awesome: pain levels receding, spending time with great people, snow frogs (I read about them in National Geographic).

Things that are not awesome: not being able to put my own socks on - try as I might, Mum being away on camp, sometimes forgetting the ways I’m not allowed to move because they don’t hurt much anymore.